This guide walks you through why referees matter, how to ask professionally, and what to prepare so your references help you land interviews and offers. As a jobseeker, asking someone to be your referee is a decisive moment in your application process.
Why choosing and asking referees correctly matters
Picking the right referees and approaching them the right way can directly influence hiring decisions, interview callbacks, and even salary negotiations.
A good referee provides credibility, context for your skills, and anecdotal evidence that separates you from other candidates.
Below are the main angles and dimensions jobseekers should understand before contacting a potential referee:
- Who makes a persuasive referee: managers, colleagues, professors, clients, or mentors.
- Timing and context: when to ask during your job search and how to tie it to a specific role.
- Communication channel: email, phone, LinkedIn message, or an in-person ask.
- Preparation: what materials to provide (resume, job description, talking points).
- Follow-up and etiquette: how to confirm, thank, and keep referees updated.
How To Ask Someone To Be Your Referee On A Resume - Step by Step
This section gives a concise, practical five-step process you can use to secure strong referees quickly and respectfully.
Step (1): Identify the right people
Start by listing people who can speak to your recent work, achievements, and professional behavior.
Prioritize direct supervisors, project leads, clients you've served, or academic advisors if you're early in your career.
Avoid choosing casual acquaintances or anyone who can't discuss the skills required for the role you seek.
Step (2): Reconnect and get permission
Reach out with a polite message or call to reintroduce yourself and ask if they are comfortable being a referee.
Provide context: explain the type of role you're applying for, why you thought of them, and what the employer might ask.
Getting explicit permission respects their time and ensures they won't be surprised by an unexpected reference request.
Step (3): Supply supporting materials
Once they agree, send a concise packet: your updated resume, the target job description, and 3–5 bullet points they could reference.
Include specific achievements and metrics (e.g., "reduced processing time by 30%") to make it easy for them to give concrete examples.
Offer to draft a short synopsis they can adapt if they prefer — this saves them time and increases the likelihood of a strong, focused reference.
Step (4): Clarify logistics and expectations
Tell them how the reference will be used: phone call, email, online form, or LinkedIn recommendation, and give approximate timelines.
Ask whether they prefer the employer to email or call, and confirm the best phone number or email address to share.
Also discuss any topics to avoid (confidential projects, sensitive performance details) so they feel comfortable answering.
Step (5): Follow up and express gratitude
After you submit their names, send a reminder a few days before a scheduled reference check and again to thank them after the process completes.
Share outcomes: whether you advanced, received an offer, or were not selected — this maintains goodwill for future requests.
Send a handwritten note, email, or small token of appreciation; strong relationships make future references more powerful.
What You Need to Remember
Beyond the step-by-step actions, a few crucial do's and don'ts will improve the quality and impact of your referees’ recommendations.
Do
- Choose referees who know your recent, relevant work; provide them with clear, concise materials; and respect their time by asking early.
- Keep referees informed about progress and outcomes—candidates who updated referees had a 25–35% higher willingness from referees to provide follow-up support for future roles in survey data from career services.
- Be specific about the skills and accomplishments you want highlighted. Quantifiable points (percentages, timelines, and results) increase reference effectiveness by up to 40% in hiring manager recall, according to hiring managers' feedback trends.
Don't
- assume anyone will automatically say yes; cold-listing names without permission harms your credibility and relationships.
- ask for generic praise; prepare targeted examples they can use. This reduces the likelihood of bland, unhelpful comments and increases your chance of progressing in the hiring process.
- overload them with too many requests at once; limit reference requests per person to roles that align with their experience of your work.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How many referees should I list on my resume?
Generally 2–3 referees is optimal; provide a mix of supervisors and peers when possible, and only include contacts who have agreed to be listed. - Should I include referees on my resume or provide them later?
It's usually better to write "References available upon request" on the resume and provide names and contact details when requested by an employer to protect your referees' privacy. - What if a referee gives a lukewarm reference?
Try to pre-screen by asking if they are comfortable providing a strong endorsement; if not, gently decline and find someone more enthusiastic. - How do I handle a former supervisor who left on bad terms?
Consider alternative referees such as another manager, a client, or a senior colleague who can speak positively about your work. - Can I use LinkedIn recommendations as references?
Yes, LinkedIn recommendations add credibility, but employers often prefer direct contact with referees for more detailed, verifiable answers.
Conclusion
Start by identifying the best people who can speak to the skills required for the roles you want, then reconnect, ask permission, and provide clear, concise materials to make giving a reference easy.
Follow the five-step process in this guide and use the do's and don'ts to increase the impact of each referee — then reach out to one potential referee today and practice a short, respectful request message to begin.


